There You Go. ~

"Grief"

My Mother Is Like A Faded Cloth

Torn

Battered

Beat

Full Of Dust,

Hidden Away.

Torn From The Pains Of Life

Battered By The Divorce And The Lies She Wove So Gracefully

Beat From All Of That Collapsing On Her,

The Dust Covers Her Memories

Hidden Away From The World, To Hide The Shame Of The Family

Of The Girl

Who’s Mom Killed Herself.

One Day We All Hope That We Can Sew Up Those Tears

Straighten Out The Lumps In The Cloth

Lay The Cloth Out To Be Relieved Of The Weight

Clean It Up With A Nice Good Scrub

Put It Out On The Fence, For All The World To See,

And Maybe, Just Maybe

One Day We Can Make A Dress Out Of That Cloth

And Wear It Proudly.

One Day, We May Forget About Our Grief.

"Smile"

“Smile”

A Smile Cracked Across Her Face

Fake

But Believable.

Nobody Knew

The Pain

Inside

Nobody Knew

The Plan

That Was To Unfold

That Night.

Class Ended, She Smiled And Went Out The Door,

Waving

Waving Goodbye To Her Teacher

Farwell! Have A Good Week!

A Good Week.

A Whole Week

Until They Would Find Out.

She Walked Home

Inside

Nobody’s Here.

She Cried Out In Pain

All In Vain

It Was Too Late

Nobody Would Hear

She’s Breaking Down

Into A Mental Fit.

“It’s Time”

A Bath To Clean

Plastic To Cover

A Shotgun To End.

Her Room Was White With Plastic

Her Furniture Barely Shining Through.

She Wrote With Trembling Hands

The Note That Would Seal It All

To Her Mother

Her Father

Her Brother

Her Boyfriend.

That’s The Only Way To Seal The Deal.

The Note Was Put In Front Of Her

The Shotgun Put To Her Head

1...

   2...   

3.

The Shot Rang Out

Mom And Dad Ran In

Tears

Screaming

Nothing Can Take Back

What They Just Saw.

The Little Girl That They Raised Is Just Lying There

No More Head

Body Lifeless And Pale.

They Picked Up The Note,

Quivering Hands

Only 5 Words Across The Page

What

         Can

                   A

                       Smile

                                   Hide?

"That August Evening"

"That August Evening”

My Mother Is Like A Faded Memory

Her Face,

Her Smell,

Her Personality, All Gone,

But Not.

Her Memories Are Still Here

In That, Is She Truly Gone?

I Know That August Eventing

When Those Tears Were Shed And Words Tumbled Out Of My Dad’s Quivering Mouth

I Didn’t Cry,

I Walked Outside, Taking A Breath,

The Air Chilly In My Lungs

I Said

“Take Care Of Her, Make Her Not Hurt Anymore”

To The Air,

To The Ground,

To The World Beyond.

“Give Her Everything She Wants, Everything And Anything, Just Please Oh Please...”

“Don’t Take Her Sunshine Away.”

"10 Ways To Look At Myself"

10 Ways To Look At Myself.

1.

A girl who smiles all the time, happy happy, never stumbles and gives up, never waving a white flag to depression and frustration.

2.

The girl who tries to be beautiful and fails, her face too red, body too big and skin too pimply

3.

The girl who’s never happy, always saying “I’m never okay” Or “I’m fine. just leave me alone.”

4.

The smiling jester queen who always acts silly, but even the king’s fool has hidden sorrow inside.

5.

The fighting girl who wears those dark wings, the horns almost never visible, her might only matched by the rage she carries

6.

The sad sobbing girl who lost her mom, always thinking it was her fault, always spending her days away in the councillor's office.

7.

The quiet girl in her classes, always getting good grades and always tring her hardest to take notes and pay attention in class.

8.

She freaks out about any mistake she makes on a test, coming in and re-doing the whole quiz, just for the one that she missed.

9.

That girl who always smiles on the outside, crying on the inside, and she doesn’t let anyone go over her cement made walls, the walls that protect her true self.

10.

Let’s all just pity the girl, the girl with a dead mom and an ugly face, the one who has the ugly body and is an ass through and through.

So many different ways to look at her, this girl named Felicia.

"Death"

My Mother Is Like A Faded Memory

Her Face,

Her Smell,

Her Personality, All Gone,

But Not.

Her Memories Are Still Here

In That, Is She Truly Gone?

I Know That August Eventing

When Those Tears Were Shed And Words Tumbled Out Of My Dad’s Quivering Mouth

I Didn’t Cry,

I Walked Outside, Taking A Breath,

The Air Chilly In My Lungs

I Said

“Take Care Of Her, Make Her Not Hurt”

To The Air,

To The Ground,

To The World Beyond.

“Give Her Everything She Wants, Everything And Anything, Just Please Oh Please..”

“Don’t Take Her Sunshine Away.”

Poetry...Of Some Sort

“Ode To The Strong Ones”

This Is An Ode To The Strong Ones

The Ones Who Wear The Scars

Of Those Days And Nights

Where They Couldn’t Stop The Pain

Brought That Knife To Their Wrists

To Take Control.

This Is An Ode To Their Strength

All Those Times Someone Noticed

Brushing It Off With One Of Those Excuses

“It Was Just The Cat”

“I Fell Out Of A Tree”

“I’m Just Injury Prone.”

They All Hide Behind Fake Smiles

The Fake Mask With The Big Grin

“Nothing’s Wrong”

“I’m Fine”

“I’m Not Sad...Why?”

They All Wear A Fake Smile To Hide The Frowns

To Cover The Tears

And To Muffle Their Cries In Pain.

So Many People Say That They’re Greedy

That They’re Loathing In Self Pity

But They Aren’t

All They Wanna Do

Is Control The Pain Inside.

Another Day Alone

Another Night

Another Knife

Another Cut

It’s Just A Cut

Doesn’t Matter

Nobody Cares Enough To Save Me From This Self Hate

Nobody Will Hug Me When I’m Crying

Nobody Will Kiss My Scars Every Day And Night

Knowing Their Stories.

So Here We Are

Doomed From The Start

The Scars Prove That

Those Scars Mark Us

The Left Behind

No-Good Self Harming

Children That God Has Abandoned

Restlessly Creeping Out

Spreading The Madness.

This Is To The People Who Are Strong

Who Don’t Care

Who Go Against The Laws And God

Defying The World.

This Is To The Ones Who Wear Those Scars Proudly

Knowing

Each

And

Every One

Has A Story.